Posts Tagged ‘ lessons ’

Punching out for true independence

In the spirit of Independence Day, I thought I’d write a little something about some thoughts I had this morning surrounding what I might consider true independence.

I have a pair of boxing gloves that I picked up a few years ago when some friends and I attended a Muay Thai class that required them. After that class ended, though, I didn’t really have much of a reason to use them, so they ended up collecting dust for quite a while. I would look at them every once in a while with longing, but without really the wherewithal to find and sign up for a gym where I could use them, they stayed neglected.

Last Sunday, I joined a new gym that will be more convenient and economical for me, since it has many locations and doesn’t charge extra for going to other locations. One big bonus I saw right off the bat is that the one closest to where I currently live has an area in the back for boxing. So the times I’ve been there this week, I went through a workout, then spent some time in the boxing area hitting the bag.

I’ve mentioned this to some friends already, but I do find this pretty therapeutic, as it’s a good way for me to channel frustration, since I tend to be pretty even-keeled in most situations. It’s good to get it out somehow, and I rather like taking it out on an inanimate punching bag. There are folks who choose to use people as punching bags, but that’s a whole other story I’m not trying to get into in this post.

I have found that when working out, channeling anger can help with adding adrenaline or something to enable me to do a little more than I could without that extra boost. I’ve seen this work sometimes with lifting, and it certainly helps with boxing. I find that I have more endurance and more force behind my punches when I can channel some anger into it.

In the interest of improving my boxing this morning, I started to think about situations that are causing me some frustration right now. I have to admit that channeling my thinking in that direction did help my game a bit, but it was temporary, because I couldn’t truly bring myself to be angry with people in my life. What happened next was interesting, though.

As I pondered on the things that were frustrating me, I took a step back mentally and looked up to see a mirror. In that moment, I realized that while I can choose to be angry with this or that person or be upset about this or that situation, the only influence I truly have is to change myself, and that is often the biggest obstacle. I realized there that my worst enemy aside from the devil himself is not someone or something outside of me, but myself – my pride, my sinful tendencies, my desire to do things my own way instead of submitting to Christ, my selfishness. So instead of thinking about a person or a situation to get mad about, I looked in the mirror and saw my worst enemy, and channeled my energy into beating him up.

Of all the things I tried to improve my boxing, I think that helped the most. Focusing on myself and my need to change, my need to be better and more Christ-like, that more than anything gave me fire to hit harder and faster.

Now to bring it back to true independence. As a Christian seeking to follow after Jesus wholeheartedly, I think the way we define true independence is the ability to deny ourselves and recognize our own sinfulness, and to deal with it harshly, while being gracious to others. It’s being ruthless with sin in our own lives and sorrowful over sin in the lives of others, but exhibiting grace in our interactions with others, as well as accepting God’s grace for ourselves. It’s refusing to allow people, situations, or things to affect our relationship with Jesus, and guarding that relationship above all else.

Just a few thoughts for this Independence Day. Now to TURN IT UP!

Stepping in.

I just started a new job the other day, my first full-time job since my quarter-life crisis a year and a half ago. Pretty great so far. One interesting experience to share…

Our building is equipped with the best in energy-efficient technology, and I’m told we spend an insanely low amount on energy for the amount of people we have in our building. One of the energy-saving measures is that lights are motion-activated.

Disclaimer: I drink a lot of water/tea/coffee, so I run (don’t walk) to the bathroom pretty frequently. I used to receive comments about that, which did sometimes get strange.

I entered the men’s room and saw that it was pitch dark. Thought process:

  1. Did we forget to pay the bill?
  2. Hmm… this is not going to work…
  3. Hmm… I really have to go…

And so I went forward, expecting to grope around blindly to find the appropriate station for my needs at that time. But lo and behold, as I took a few steps in, the lights came on! It was a miracle!

OK, so why do I share that rather mundane story? Why have I wasted a minute of your time to tell you about lights turning on in the men’s room?

Because I believe that many times, we encounter moments like this in our lives, and the way we choose to respond to those times can either hold us back or help push us forward.

Living and walking by faith, not by sight, isn’t easy, but it’s what we’re called to. If we’re truly following hard after God, we will encounter times when we have no clue what’s ahead. We will run into situations where all we see around us is darkness, and hope is nowhere to be found. We will find ourselves in circumstances we never wanted, with people we never planned on running into, doing things we never thought we’d be able to do.

What do we do when we encounter times, situations, and circumstances like these?

With prayer and wise counsel, we do what I had to do in that dark restroom – we step forward. We ask God for courage, for boldness, and we move toward that ambiguous yet promising future that He’s set in front of us. He doesn’t show us the whole roadmap; if He did, we’d trust the map and not Him. But He promises to be with us and to be the light we need to navigate the darkness.

But the decision remains on us whether we will take that first step into the unknown and trust God to provide the light, or turn back and potentially forfeit that chance to experience the Holy Spirit’s guiding hand.

Jesus went to the cross to provide us the opportunity to walk with Him and live life with Him. What’s your response?

Permission to be silly.

Last night, I checked out the middle school ministry that I’m praying about serving with at church.

I noticed that while worshiping, not only was it acceptable to act a little silly, it was encouraged. And it started at the top.

The worship leader, who’s been doing youth ministry for years, wasn’t “acting his age,” and in doing so, gave the kids permission to act theirs without having to worry about looking silly. He acted like he was their age so that they could act like they were their age in worshiping God.

Some might say that he’s making up for something, or that he hasn’t grown up. But I don’t see that. Instead, I see a man doing his part to serve his community doing what he loves – connecting with the middle school children at his church. I see a man letting his “street cred” suffer a bit so that he can bring pre-teens closer to Jesus. I see a man posing as a youth so that at the appropriate times, he can treat teenage boys like men and teenage girls like women.

It’s rare to find places where it’s okay to act a little silly. But by showing me his world, he’s given me one such place. If they’ll have me, I think I’m taking that part-time job.

Growing up.

It’s hard to figure when exactly that happens, isn’t it?

Some say it’s when you have a good job and can buy the things you want.

Some say it’s when you know what you want to do with your life.

Some say it’s when you get married and have kids.

I think it’s when you decide to stop living on other people’s terms and live in such a way to make dreams come true for you and those closest to you.

Here’s a friend of mine who’s doing one hell of a job at it. He’s also been featured on The Art of Manliness.

It’s a lesson I’m learning, even though I’m not enrolled in any traditional school. It’s a lesson that I’m learning from friends who are on the same journey. It’s a lesson inspired by teachers and reinforced by artists, one in particular.

I may not have written about this before, but while I’m not enrolled in a traditional school, I am enrolled in this one. It’s not free, but tuition is pretty low compared to higher education. It’s a great program for me because it helps me figure out, 1) how God has wired me to live out His glory in my everyday activities, and 2) how to make a living and support myself and a family doing those things.

Thanks for being on this journey with me, anonymous crowd out there. Please welcome my parents, who have finally started reading my blog 😉

I’m going to continue writing here while I start building my website for Awesome Biz Blogs, my proposed next venture.

Starting over.

It’s amazing how long and hard we can cling to something from the past. Equally amazing, though, is the freedom we can walk with when we decide to let go. The less we want to talk about it, the more constrained by the past we actually are. The more we’re willing to talk about it, the more free we become.

It’s a lesson I’ve re-learned recently. After decades of bitterness, I’m finally learning to walk in freedom.

What’s your story?

I wrote before about “what are you working on?” being a better question than “what do you do?” but this one takes it a step further. This question opens up the conversation to whatever the person wants to share and talk about. It lets someone tell you who he/she is – no limits, no expectations, no rules. It gives you an opportunity to possibly gain insight into the person you’re talking to beyond the day-to-day.

But even if you ask this question, people may still limit their answer to the question they’re used to hearing or thought they heard. Not much you can do about that, necessarily.

But what if someone asked you?

What’s your story?

How do you answer that question?

I’m still figuring that out, but I do think that the first step is to live a story worth telling. Some resources that can help you with that (affiliate links where applicable):

What part is the grass?

It’s been said that the grass is always greener on the other side, but what part of the experience is the grass? What’s the part that looks better but is actually the same? Maybe it differs depending on the situation.

Some things that may be grass:

  • People
  • Routines
  • Responsibilities
  • Daily tasks
  • Freedom

But there are things that can actually be better:

  • People to learn from
  • Experiences to benefit from
  • Projects to be a part of
  • Vision to move forward with
  • Risks to take

At the end of it, though, maybe the only way to tell is to  go to the other side and see. Maybe stepping into uncertainty isn’t such a bad thing.